Flavors of Kailua - First Take

As I was driving down Kailua Road, I saw a sign for a new place in Kailua called Flavors of Kailua, featuring shave ice and Chicago Hot Dogs.

I decided to check it out. I discovered that it is located on the corner opposite Zippy's on Oneawa Street. There is no parking that is immediately apparent (unless you want to risk the ire of Zippy's management). I figured out that if I went around the block and parked in the public parking structure between McDonald's and Lucy's, I would be just a few yards away. If you know to do that right away, the location is pretty accessible, but it is not intuitively obvious.

I'm not sure what Chicago Hot Dogs have to do with the local flavors of Kailua, but I guess since many residents here are from somewhere else, I was willing to go with it. I tried the No. 1 combination with a Chicago Dog, chips, and a drink, all for $5.50, tax included. The service was what I would call "laconic, local style," but the server/food preparer had a pleasant enough demeanor.

The Chicago Dog was fine, although a little heavy on the mustard. It's not as good as Hank's (or Portillo's in Chicago, for that matter). But it was authentic Vienna Beef, and I didn't have to drive into Honolulu or fly to Chicago.

I was just about to try the shave ice, but as I was finishing my meal, the man behind the counter suddenly closed up the place at 12:45 p.m. (I was eating outside, so I was not displaced). Apparently, he had to respond to the call of nature.

I decided not to hang around.

Overall, the experience itself was actually okay, and the price was certainly good. But is it worth all the trouble to go around the block to get parking and feed a meter? Not sure yet...got to try the shave ice first. I would not give it my highest recommendation, but I wouldn't discourage anyone from going, either. Since it is a new business, I would encourage people to give it a try once for the benefit of the doubt. Supporting a local business is in the genuine spirit and flavor of Kailua.

Grace and aloha,

Tom

P. S. The latest book I am reading is called UnChristian. It's about why so many 16-29 year olds do not go to church and even think that Christianity is irrelevant. I'll give some more updates as I work through the book.

Steak Plate at Times Market - Oahu's Best Known Secret

The plate lunch has been raised to an art form in Hawaii. An entree (or two) with two scoops of rice and (usually macaroni) salad is ubiquitous. There is no end to the possibilities. Gracie's Drive-In was and is known for their chicken katsu. President Obama took his family to Rainbow's on Kapahulu. L&L Drive-In is the most common these days.

A relatively recent phenomenon is the steak plate: a half-pound of steak, served with two scoops of rice, tossed salad, and a drink, all for about $7. You will see lunch trucks all over selling these plates, often with a side of garlic shrimp. Blazin' Steaks is probably best known by tourists and it's okay, although the steaks are cooked on a flat top grill. Blazin' Steaks offers different sauces and styles of cooking, such as Thai and Korean.

But for those in the know, hands down, the best steak plate in Hawaii comes from Times Supermarkets. The tender Sterling Silver brand sirloin steaks (according to one of the cooks they are seasoned with McCormick's garlic pepper and Hawaiian alae salt) are grilled outside of the stores on gas grills and the flavor is much better than those cooked on a flat top grill.

A bonus is that you can get a la carte portions of steak and shrimp for about $5 each. Our standard Friday dinner is two portions of steak and one portion of shrimp. We make rice at home and open a can of Niblets corn. All for about $17. It's a good and delicious deal. It is so popular that at noon and after five, the line at the Kailua location goes halfway down the produce department. I always see at least one person I know every Friday, and sometimes there are enough of my church members there that we could hold a decent worship service.

The catch is that you have to know which day Times is serving up steak, as each location offers steak once a week (most locations offer other items on different days, but the steak is the best, although I do like the huli huli chicken Wednesdays at the Kaneohe store). Here's the schedule of steak (and shrimp) plates by location:

Mondays: Kahala, Liliha, Royal Kunia
Tuesdays: Kaimuki
Wednesdays: Waimalu
Thursdays: Aiea, Beretania
Fridays: Kailua, Koolau, McCully, Waimalu
Saturdays: Kaneohe

You can check out the full menus at the Times website: http://timessupermarkets.com/tasteoftimes.asp

Grace and aloha,

Tom

P. S. I was in Nashville most of this past week for a meeting of the United Methodist Study on Ministry. It is a group evaluating various aspects of ordained ministry in this denomination.

One of the things that is at the forefront of the discussion is the need for the United Methodist Church (and its ministers) to rethink how it approaches doing church ministry. For the past several decades, the emphasis has been to appoint a pastor to a church, and the assumption is that the flock that is already in the church is the main emphasis, and the pastor takes care of the flock primarily.

There is a movement to change that understanding so that pastors are appointed to a community, of which the church congregation is a part, but not the only focus. Those who are not yet in the church are equally important.

It means a quantum change in how most churches function. The focus is more outward than inward, which will be difficult for many church members accustomed to their pastors at their beck and call. It will also mean pastors will need to emerge from their offices and spend time in the community.

This is, of course, the way it should be and even used to be. Somewhere along the line, many Mainline Protestant churches have evolved into nice but insular clubs. One pastor I know called it becoming "warm, spiritual Jacuzzis." It's no wonder that so many people outside it think that the Church is an irrelevant relic of the past.

I welcome this change of perspective on the part of church leaders to emphasize appointing pastors to a community. The Good News of Christ is something so great. Those in the Church need to make sure all know about it.

Chestnuts from Girolami Farms - The Return of An American Treasure

Before the days of year-round available produce from high tech farmers and Southern Hemisphere countries, there was a seasonal quality to produce that defined that time of the year during my formative years.

Winter, especially at Christmas, was marked by big boxes of oranges and apples that church members gave to our family as gifts.

Spring meant strawberries, especially the huge, sweet, and scrumptious ones from Camarillo, California. Cherries signaled the beginning of summer. Peaches and watermelon were synonymous with the height of summer.

But autumn was truly autumn when on a cool evening, our family roasted chestnuts, with the sweet aroma filling our home, and we anxiously peeled the chestnuts, trying to be careful not to burn our fingers. It was a sweet, chewy, deeply satisfying taste that defined my childhood.

Chestnuts have not been a big part of American palates for a long time. It's a part of holiday lore in Mel Torme's "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting in an Open Fire," most famously recorded by Nat "King" Cole, but I never knew anyone who ever actually did that. I saw recipes for turkey dressing that contained chestnuts, but again, I didn't know too many people who actually did that. When I visited New York on a vacation, there was the chestnut cart that had the cones of newspaper filled with chestnuts that Becky and I enjoyed.

Chestnuts are big in Asia. I have enjoyed tiny ones from China and Japan, and there are huge ones from Korea (which I actually like the least). Europeans use chestnuts extensively; traditionally, for example, hogs used to make prosciutto were fed chestnuts. I remember that in the film, "Amadeus," composer Salieri served Frau Mozart a special confection that only the aristocracy ate: Roman chestnuts in brandied sugar.

Chestnuts are so prominent that the description for brown color is used in many languages. Marron in French, often used to describe dark brown hair color, means chestnut. In Korea, the term for brown, pahm sekal, literally means "chestnut color" (incidentally, the word for orange in Korean is kahm sekal, or persimmon color).

What many don't know is that chestnut products were an incredibly significant source of sustenance in America in many ways. At one time, chestnut trees covered much of America, and were used as timber, fuel, and of course, food. Chestnuts are gluten free, high in fiber, high in nutritional value, low in fat, and versatile. Ground into flour, chestnuts can be used for cakes, bread, pancakes, etc. It is an ingredient for sweet or savory dishes, and can be used as a sweetener. The chestnut tree allowed many Americans to survive during difficult times. Some health food stores call them the perfect health food.

Unfortunately, a blight afflicted the millions of American chestnut trees, nearly wiping out the entire species. By the 1940's, only a few trees remained. Even if new ones were planted, it would take decades for a suitable crop, since chestnut trees yield their best nuts at 60 years of age.

For many years in America, most of the chestnuts one would see at the marketplace were from Italy. With immigration, the Asian varieties began to pop up here and there.

The problem for me was that I didn't care for the Korean variety (just didn't like the flavor somehow), the Japanese and Chinese ones were just too small, and the Italian chestnuts, which I love, would often have a high rate of spoilage, which was even worse when we moved to Hawaii.

Happily, there is now a good supply of delicious American chestnuts. For the past few years, I have ordered them from Girolami Farms, a family owned business in Stockton, California. I highly recommend them. Girolami Farms have wonderful chestnuts - large, sweet, with a nice texture. The great bonus: none of them were spoiled or had that green rot that is present in so many of the supermarket chestnuts I find.

They are $5.75 per pound for the jumbo (which I ordered), and $6.50 per pound for the colossal. The price may seem a little high (although in Hawaii, it isn't bad), but remember that the quality of the chestnuts is excellent and there is no waste from spoilage: what you pay for is what you get. They also have pre-cooked and peeled chestnuts, chestnut flour, and cookware specifically designed for chestnuts. There are also recipes and directions for preparing the chestnuts.

Here are some tips and info for cooking chestnuts: 1) I recommend roasting to boiling; boiling makes them easier to peel, but the flavor loss is noticeable. 2) The open fire method may be romantic, but is a lot of trouble and requires constant attention; so only do this if you are planning to monitor the cooking every second of the process! 3) It will take some experience to know when the chestnuts are cool enough to handle and peel, but not so cool that that the inner skin sticks to the nutmeat; I use an oven mitt to start the first ones straight out of the oven.


4) If using a chestnut knife (which does work well and you can order from Girolami Farms), I wear a bandage (in advance) on my thumb so I don't have to worry about the tip of the blade cutting me and I can work much faster. 5) Cooking times definitely vary, so even though the website says 15-20 minutes in a 375 degree oven, test one and make sure it has a light golden brown color and you can begin to smell the aroma. It shouldn't have any trace of a crisp texture (such as from a raw carrot or a water chestnut - which is completely unrelated to the chestnuts we've been talking about BTW) or have a slightly astringent taste. Properly cooked chestnuts have a unique texture that is tender but firm.

5. Make sure that you cut slits in them to avoid exploding nuts, release steam, and facilitate easier peeling. I usually cut an "X" on one or both sides and make sure that I cut into the tough hull a bit as well.

Order them directly from the website: http://www.chestnutsforsale.com

Enjoy!

Grace and aloha,

Tom

P. S. One of the great things about chestnut time in our home growing up is that it was a communal event. Because there is a small window of time to peel the chestnuts before the inner skin sticks irretrievably to the nut (and then you would have to peel them with a knife, sacrificing nutmeat and aesthetics), we would all gather as a family and peel them together. As I look back, it was one of the few activities that everyone in the family took part in. Maybe that's why I have a nostalgic view on chestnuts: the warmth of the chestnuts warming up a cool autumn evening was made even more wonderful by the warmth of our family together, working on a common purpose.

Maybe that's why I'm so gung ho on the church. There is something simply unmatched by the connection of a community that comes together for a common purpose and a common experience. It's like no other place on earth.

Pepper's Place - Cheesesteak in Hawaii

Perhaps no food item is so closely identified with a city as the Philadelphia cheesesteak. For the few who do not know what it is: it is thinly sliced steak cooked on a flat top grill and placed into a long roll (the one made by the Amoroso Bakery is de rigueur). Cheese is melted on top. Believe it or not, Cheese Whiz is the traditional topping. Grilled onions are also a traditional part of a cheesesteak. It is optional, and you order a sandwich "wit'" or "wit'out" onions.

Pat's the King of Steaks on Passuyunk Ave. in Philadelphia is the original. Pasquale "Pat" Olivieri invented the cheesesteak in 1930 and the family still owns the company. A relative of the family, Rick Olivieri, has his own version, Rick's the Prince of Steaks. Other well known places are Geno's (a location also on Passyunk Ave., catty corner from Pat's), Jim's, and Tony Luke's (who was featured on an episode of Bobby Flay's Throwdown).

I had my first cheesesteak at the original Pat's several years ago. I ordered a "Whiz wit'," Cheese Whiz with grilled onions. It was an amazing experience. It is true what they say: no one ingredient is the key - it is the combination of meat, bread, cheese and onions working in complete harmony that makes the sandwich sublime.

I went back a few years ago to Rick's, when his place was in the Reading Terminal Market (he's now at the Food Court at the Bellevue). It wasn't quite as good as Pat's, but it was still excellent. Becky was with me on this visit, and she got provolone cheese, which is her preference to Cheese Whiz.

Here in Hawaii, I've had the cheesesteak at Zia's (it really isn't a cheesesteak - the bread is wrong, there is too much cheese and it's mozzarella, and they automatically add peppers; it's okay, but they shouldn't call it a Philly cheesesteak). There is a place on Kuhio Ave. in Waikiki that claims to have authentic Philadelphia cheesesteak, but it somehow fell short for me. Dave and Buster's has a cheesesteak that is surprisingly good, and actually could be the best one I've had in Hawaii.

This brings us to Pepper's Place in the Kailua Shopping Center near Times Market. Their logo proclaims it to have the world's best Philadelphia cheesesteak. I'm always skeptical when a place has to advertise that it is the world's best at something. It usually means it isn't. In fact, it often means it isn't very good at all.

In this case, Pepper's Place falls somewhere in between, although favorably so. They use an Amoroso roll, and the meat and onions are done well. They have their own proprietary blend of cheddar cheese and provolone (they claim that Cheese Whiz is too salty so they came up with this combination). This costs them some authenticity points, but I appreciate that they thought it out.

The verdict? I think that it is a good cheesesteak (you'll notice that I do not add Philadelphia to the description; I agree with a Philadelphia native in my church who says that you have to go to Philadelphia to get a Philadelphia cheesesteak), although not the world's best. It doesn't come together with the same harmony as Pat's or even Rick's, but it is enjoyable nonetheless. Pepper's Place won't quite replace the memory of cheesesteak from Philadelphia, but it does ease the pain of being so far away from one of the definitive American sandwiches from the City of Brotherly Love.

Grace and aloha,

Tom

P. S. Phileo is the Greek word for friendship or affection, aka brotherly love (hence, the first part of Philadelphia). It is one of a number of words in Greek for love. One of them is eros, or romantic love. Another is stergo, or familial love. Finally, there is agape, which is defined as Divine love or unconditional love or self-sacrificing love. Much of the time, subtlety is lost in translation from the original languages of the Bible into English.

For example, in John 21, Jesus and Peter have a conversation where Jesus asks Peter, "Do you love me?" The first two times, Jesus asks, "Do you love (agape) me?" Peter responds "Yes, Lord, I love (phileo) you." The third time, Jesus asks, "Do you love (phileo) me?" And Peter says, "You know I (phileo) you." Scholars differ greatly in their interpretation of this change in words. It is clear to me, however, that Jesus has one expectation for loving him, and Peter has another. Perhaps it is that Peter isn't quite ready or not yet able to comprehend enough to embrace the kind of self-sacrificing for which Jesus asks. Over time, however, Peter does understand and embrace agape love. It is then that he truly experiences the depth of a relationship with Christ.

I think to love (agape) Jesus is a difficult concept. It happens over time. It becomes clearer as we learn more about Christ, especially His agape for us.

Five Dollar Family Feast - Fish

Ahi tuna is one of Hawaii's most famous foods. Most enjoy ahi in a few basic ways: as sashimi, in sushi, cubed in poke, and pan seared rare. In each case, the fish is derived from a boneless fillet. But ahi is a bony fish...what happens to the bones after they are filleted?

Thanks to my wife,Becky, I have discovered what happens to some of the bones, and deliciously so.

Becky works for the State of Hawaii, and her office is in Kalihi, on School Street. Every few months, a woman comes by selling fish out of a cooler (not an uncommon thing here). One of the unusual things she sells is something called ahi bone, which are the leftover bones of ahi after filleting. She sells a bag of about 20 pieces of leftover bones - each about the size of the palm of a hand - for $6. Becky split a bag with a co-worker, bringing the price down to $3 for 9 pieces (Becky gave the extra pieces to the co-worker, who had a larger family).

Each piece looks like a cut from a smaller fish (I'll take a picture the next time we get it...especially for Bennett). There is a thin layer of meat on both sides of each piece. Becky seasoned the fish simply with garlic salt, dredged in a little flour and sauteed. There is a row of very large bones that kind of resemble shark's teeth, plus some smaller bones, but none of the bones are so small as to be a danger, and are easily removed. In fact, you can get a few mini fillets from each piece that I made sure had no bones and gave them to my 5 year old daughters. In fact, it was kind of fun to work through the pieces of fish - just enough work to feel a sense of accomplishment, but not so bony to be a pain, like eating bluegill.

The fish was delicious, perhaps even more so because we fed our family of four very well(five adequately the first time, when my mother-in-law was with us). Add rice and a can of Niblets corn from Costco, and this meal cost us about five dollars. You can't beat that!

I would imagine that any good fish monger will have these bones hanging around and he/she should sell them to you for next to nothing. But watch out, they may catch on and could become the newest thing, and the price could skyrocket, just like oxtails (I just can't believe what they cost now!). So get them now and enjoy a delicious meal at current economy friendly prices!

Grace and aloha,

Tom

P. S. The fish is one of the enduring symbols of Christianity. The earliest symbol of Christianity in the catacombs was the fishes and loaves, what Jesus used to feed the five thousand men plus women and children. The tilapia is known as St. Peter's fish in many places, referring to Peter's profession.

You may have wondered what the Jesus fish stands for. It is an acrostic based on the letters which form the word Ichthys, which is "fish" in Greek. The letters stand for the phrase "Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior."

I'm actually not a big fan of the Jesus fish (if you have one, God bless you, though). I think that it tends to trivializes Jesus (remember Elaine Benes from "Seinfeld"?) and I think anytime you parade a religious symbol without personal relationship is missing the point.

Something as important as all that Christ signifies and symbolizes should be celebrated at the forefront of one's heart, and not pasted onto the back of one's car's trunk.

Hank's Haute Dogs in Kakaako - Hot Dogs' Greatest Hits

Kanani, one my most dedicated blog readers, suggested I try Hanks "Haute" Dogs (get it, francophiles?), 324 Coral Street in the Kakaako section of Honolulu, just off of Ala Moana Blvd., between OfficeMax and the now defunct CompUSA. There is now a location in Waikiki, in the International Marketplace.

Any conversation about a hot dog place will invariably include something to the effect of "Okay, maybe it's good, but is it that much better than a hot dog and a drink at Costco for $1.50?" For some, you will never be able to convince them that what breaks down to a 92 cent hot dog or Polish dog (if you subtract the 58 cent solo drink price from the combo price) could possibly be topped.

For the others, you'll find Hank's to be a great place to sample hot dogs prepared in different styles.

I got a Chicago dog, which uses the correct ingredients: a Vienna brand all beef hot dog served on a poppy seed roll with yellow mustard, onions, tomatoes, a dill pickle spear, very green relish, hot peppers, and celery salt.

When I got it, it was a little smaller in size than the ones I've had in Chicago, but I have to say that it was excellent. The hot dog had a nicely textured casing and the meat was very flavorful and tender. I enjoyed it very much.

I have to admit, however, that I liked what Becky ordered better, although you might have predicted so. She got the Fat Boy: which is a hot dog wrapped in bacon and deep fried(!!!!). It comes with lettuce, tomato, and mayo. You might think of it as a delicious hybrid of a BLT and a plain hot dog. It was fabulous!

Kanani urged me to get the fries cooked in duck fat. Alas, these are only available on the weekends, when they make a duck and foie gras sausage. But the regular, twice cooked fries were good, although I prefer fries made from peeled potatoes. The gourmet dipping sauce made from wasabi and tobiko was very good.

They have a daily exotic hot dog. On this day (Tuesday), it was alligator sausage. I have to go back and try Sunday's special: a Wagyu Kobe beef hot dog. There are also hot dogs made from rabbit, buffalo, and lobster.

There is a Polish dog, but that seems like going to a great steakhouse and ordering a hamburger.

The drinks are a delightful bonus. The jasmine iced tea was particularly good, especially with some simple syrup (they call it liquid sugar) added. The hibiscus lemonade was good, although I would say that this is an adult drink, not too sweet and pretty tart.

There is a vegetarian "No Dog," with avocado, tomato, onion, cucumber, cilantro, spicy chipotle mayo, and cheddar, which I'm sure I will never order (why go to a hot dog place if you're not going to eat a hot dog?). There is a keiki dog, but I think if I take my children, I'll have them split a Fat Boy (partly because I won't mind eating their leftovers).

The service is a bit uneven. There was one front-of-the-house person who was very helpful and enthusiastic - he seemed to be more of a management type. The other person we experienced was devoid of energy, did only what was necessary, and was clearly hired help. She didn't detract too much from the experience, but I like good service no matter where I go.

All in all, however, Hank's is a very enjoyable place. For me, it's the best hot dog place in Hawaii. And yes...I would go there anytime over Costco...and pay the higher price.

For Becky...it's another place (not Costco)...I'll blog about it soon.

Grace and aloha,

Tom

P.S.

One of the best books that I've read in a long time is Darkness Is My Only Companion. It chronicles the experiences of Kathryn Greene-McCreight, with whom I went to seminary, and who went on to receive a Ph.D in Theology from Yale and become an Episcopal priest.

After the birth of her second child, Kathryn would eventually be diagnosed bi-polar, would be hospitalized a number of times, and though she has shown some great improvement (with psychotherapy, medication, and by her description, the grace of God), she will probably always live with the illness.

The book is a great witness of a sufferer of mental illness who nonetheless remains steadfastly Christian. The podcast of my latest sermon goes into a bit more detail.

For anyone who has suffered depression at any level, or struggled with the diseases of the mind, this book is an illuminating resource.

Langer's - When Done Right, the Best Pastrami in the World (Sorry, New York, It's True)

Back in June, my family and I made a pilgrimage to Langer's Delicatessen in Los Angeles at the corner of Alvarado and 7th (there is validated parking in a lot that is one block east of Alvarado on 7th). Langer's is legendary for its pastrami sandwich, especially No. 19 - pastrami on rye with cole slaw on top of the meat.

What makes Langer's so good first has to do with the fact that they simmer the meat long enough so that it is very tender. Most of the fast food pastrami I've had (and some of the restaurant kind) is tough and rubbery. You would think that this would be a simple thing - just cook it longer - but Langer's is one of the few that gets this right.

The second thing is that Langer's uses remarkable rye bread (to get any other type of bread with pastrami at a deli is simply sacrilegious): a very nice crust with the inside of the bread very tender but firm enough to hold the sandwich (kind of like al dente pasta - notice that this is a running theme with me).

I've been to delis all over the world, including some of the best in New York City, like Carnegie Deli and the now defunct Wolfe's Deli, but Langer's is hands down the best - when it's done right.

Okay...so what am I getting at with the "when it's done right" business? What truly sets Langer's apart from the others is the hand slicing of the meat. I once mentioned this to someone, and he replied, a bit cynically, "And that makes a difference?" I emphatically said yes, but actually wasn't sure.

On this last trip to Langer's, I found out the hard way. We ordered our sandwiches, and when they came, the meat was clearly machine sliced! It was still an excellent sandwich, but it was lowered to the level of a good New York deli, merely among the better in the world. When I asked the waitress about this, she said,"Oh, you can request it to be hand sliced." Having bitten into my sandwich already, I decided not to make a bit deal of it, but there is definitely a difference. The meat isn't quite as juicy as the thicker slices by hand. And there is just something disconcerting about something that was so good and above reproach, and now has bowed to the god of efficiency ("Don't worry, it saves time and money, and no one will notice."). Ah...but we do notice!

So MAKE SURE that as you are ordering, you request hand slicing. While No. 19 is the most popular (it was featured on Food Network's "The Best Thing I Ever Ate"), some don't like the cole slaw, so just get it plain.

And make sure you go during the day - Langer's closes at 4 p.m.

Grace and aloha,

Tom

P. S. The disappointment of finding machine sliced meat at Langer's makes me think about how we often go through life striving for "just good enough to get by," and not on what is the best possible effort we can give. The delusion of "no one will notice," is a strong one, and one that will eventually rob us of meaning and fulfillment in life.

I think this is particularly true about our relationship with God. It is too often left neglected or not nurtured as much as it might be. We (including myself) might often think, "God is all loving and all forgiving, so it's okay that I don't pay attention as much; in the end, God will accept me."

And while that is true, the question isn't about whether or not God will still love us or forgive us. It is whether or not we are missing out on an incredible relationship with our God, one that is not only individual, but also communal, in places like the church.

I think about my girls and I am mindful of the time I spend with them. In the enormous demands of a pastor, I am tempted to spend less time with them, knowing that they love me and will forgive me. But I watch them grow so quickly, and the joy and blessing of each stage of their lives is gone forever in seemingly a blink of an eye, and I have to make sure I set aside enough time to appreciate truly what I have in these moments with them. It's similar with God.

In the end, it isn't whether or not God loves you and forgives you...that's a given. It's whether or not you and I benefit from that love, and experience the joy and blessing that comes from knowing - as fully as we can - our God in each of the stages of our lives.